Tuesday, 19 June 2012

The Unknown Instinct


                                 


The faces of the entire crowd had become flaccid by the entrance of the man dressed in the fine suit (regalia for them as he was the only villager who is owned it) with a face resembling a raisin with not any paucity of emotions.
“This is not supposed to be a bazaar and if any of you could not digest this then just get your marching orders.” The employees stood there stagnated peeved by the trite remark. Pointing towards the piece of equipment he asked,” who was in charge of this?” A timid woman, as Amiran was her name with her distorted countenance came ahead .Her body shivering tremendously from trepidation for she pointed out twice this month for her gaffe.
“Don’t stand like a dumb round here. Is it the way you were taught to do the embroidery. For your kind information these clothes are to be worn by humans. But I don’t know why your dim-witted mind can’t conceive this” he said vociferously staring down at the meek creature. She tried hard to give the illuminations but the inarticulations didn’t permit her to do so.
“Don’t act like a torpid .you nincompoop deceit at work is same as the sin of embezzlement. Don’t be parsimonious at your duty, in expending some endeavor your hands are not going to be worn off. Now for what are you waiting for.Ramzan.Who is going to correct it.”    
Then he rolled his eyes around, sneered at all of them and led his way to his office. Amiran stood there inactive sunk in her thoughts, entirely convinced about the abating in her salary and dabbled her hands into the work completely embittered.
Almost all the workers abhorred their Sahib (as they had given him the denotations of boorish devil, acerb, Hitler, a freak but never ever used them). Nobody knew why he was so rancorous. Never anyone had heard the words of eulogy from his mouth, for they wondered if he had eves smiled in his life. If one had been given a choice between his banal reprimands and carnage they would surely go for the latter one. Maybe he was born like that as some asserted. There was some hearsay that his perversity was because of marital dichotomy, while some said that he was a spy of the colonial government, and all sorts of such rumors like that.

                             …………………….

One fine day the incessant stridency of the mill was absent for the reason it was a lunch time. While he had a round about the factory he heard a ringing sound. He looked into the attire through the lattice to find out eccentric silhouette of an animal (or a human maybe for it was too small) under the piles of clothes spread around creeping.
He descended downstairs and bawled in order to enquire. After the residuum silence that followed a face so endearing poked from inside. A child of about five inspected him with his sparkling perspicacious eyes. The hoary man inquired,” Who are you and how dare you enter my mill like this. Get out of here or I will call the guard, you notorious monkey.” The child budged and adjusted towards the wall and then as a whim got visible on his impish face, he sticked his tongues out at the man and flew out of the sight. The man stood there recollecting the disgrace it had brought on his part. For the first time someone had trifled him like this, for he was unable to make his mind up how to react on this. Such intrepidity was worth adulation but for these kind of words didn’t count in his vocabulary he went back to his office with his abhorrent face.
The kid stopped; entirely exhausted by the long spell of run.  Her mother glanced at her and inquired,” Where were you? I warned you not to roam around.” The child shielded his fault with a decorum acceptance jollified by his escape from that disheveled monster.
                                               
“Maaaa….” asked the child with great acuity “who lives there up in that big room?”
“Don’t keep me pestering by your stupid questions” said Amiran.
But the child in his quest led his footsteps round the stairs. She caught impeded him and said,” Never ever try to go there. A devil lives there.”
“A devil really”
“Hmmm… a very cruel one.”
He scrolled up his eyes with an intellect of adventure.

                                      ……………………….

The next day the irresistible compulsion of his acumen mind forced him to that haunted room. He lingered in the corridor and peeped into the room and got a sudden realization that he was already acquainted with the devil.
The senescent man with the brisk face was indulged in his files.
“Maybe the devil incarnated into this rough man” the young mind made the guess observing his moustache (an incredible maze for a fly if it entered into it.)
The child attempted to open the door surreptitiously but the handle was afar from the reach his tiny hands. The doors suddenly flung open. Initially the head its entrance followed by the shoulders.
The venerable man looked up for the sound had made a hiatus in his work. They exchanged furtive glances with a pinch of obfuscation.
“Hey you the devil” the child burst and ran swiftly for his life. The man seated there, criped; jumped up to catch hold of the monkey but was then reminded off that work counts first and was compelled aback.

                                      ……………………..

The next day there was a repetition of what had happened and for his part the man rushed behind that boy but returned abort for the reason because those small feet were able enough to inoculate the child from the old devil.
The process continued for about seven consecutive days. One day the man fed up with his frivolous play waited for that little guest to take his class. The boy in his pursuit of adventure banged the door and shrieked the old epithet.
“Hey you scoundrel, stay there” cried the man. The boy stopped unflinched to face the monster with an unwavering zest.
“Why do you call me a devil?”
“For the reason you are”.
“Who told you that?”
“My mother”
“Did she. What did she exactly said; that I am a devil”
“Yes.. a perilous one”
“Is that the way …”
“Is that the way to call a decent boy a scoundrel?” argued the boy grudgingly.

The man muddle minded by this lucid argument for the child seemed more precocious than he had perceived.
“Why do you wear these anklets:
“My mother tied it when I was about one. “
“I don’t like its sound.”
“Was it a complain.”
“Yes.”
“It can’t be helped.”
         
The man stared at the suave face of the child for his aberration had fussed him up.
“Why do you keep disturbing me like this?”

The boy put his head down in veneration, dodged himself aside and then with the stroke of turbulence said aloud.” Because you are a devil……” running through the building;” a very cruel one……..”


                   ………………………….
         
The old man sat on his armchair alone in his ennui with the corner of his eyes involuntarily moving towards the door. He got up and paved his way down.
The boy was seated with his tomato-red cheeks and moist eyes ingratiating his mother to give him the meal. Then soon his eyes met with the wrinkled man. Forgetting his hunger the child crinkled up in smile.
Then he pointed out his anklets intentionally pinging it to seek his attention. The man gave a wry response (the only articulation he had since seventy years.)
“Hey devil! “ addressed the boy, “you came out of your room”. All the workers turned their eyes on the child imprudent of the consequences of his callow remark. The egregious error of his son had squelched each and every element of Amiran.
“You buffoon, how dare you say like that” asked the man.
“Because you are. How come you forget it.”

Amiran almost crippled fell onto the feet of the man. “Sahib” she said “I beg you a pardon on behalf of my son. Please condone his erroneous fault” she stammered almost sobbing.
          “Why should you be sorry? You should feel proud for the odious teaching you have taught to your brave son. Why I am not so surprised this is what one can expect from such kind of people” berated the man belligerently.
          She whined irresistibly for the bitter words had started their work. She caught hold the hands of her son mordantly as the exit of the man was the cue for them to efface.
                             It was a source of amazement for him that what made him ask the boy that question. Was it in order to recover the attack on his stature? The retrospect was useless as it didn’t reach a conclusion.
                                                ………………………
                                     
          The man as per his routine was indulged in his work. But there was a slight change. He seemed to be apathetic; his mind was preoccupied with reticent thoughts, his eyes were searching someone. He was deviated from the work and ambled in the balcony. An emotion so obscure; was penetrating inside him far beyond from the knowledge of his phlegmatic mind.
           As days passed by the recondite emptiness dissipated him. Something which he could not figure out or rather didn’t want to.

                                      ………………

    Ring….ring…..ring………
The man was invigorated by the sound as it touched his ears. He darted a look at the door with an unknown revelry developing inside him. The sound got milder. He sat back; hid his ardor and pretended to be unaware.
          “Sahib, tea?” asked a worker as he entered into the office. The broken kettle rang repeatedly.
          “No…..not now”
The worker departed. A strong compulsion dragged his footsteps towards the mill.
          “Amiran” he said.
          “Ji sahib”
          “I heard a ringing sound. Was it your son? “
          “No Sahib. He threw open his anklets the very day I scolded him”.
          The man turned back for the twinge had resulted into moistening of the eyes and it was now very hard to dissemble it……….                                                                                       
                                               















         




Monday, 26 March 2012

The agony of confinement



          The agony of confinement
The news pervaded in the whole family and charged them with mirth. The lanky boy who was grown in stature was eulogized as a hero. His vacillating mind was imbued with numerous thoughts and planning. The news that he managed to get admission in a widely renowned senior secondary school had enraptured him.
All the reprimands had turned into blessings, slaps into fondle and condemnment into praise for the reason of his departure to the hostel. Everyone gave him little gifts and pocket money which enhanced his elation. It jarred upon him the instructions given by everyone and the long family chats.
He was delirious to fly away. Then came the morning when he in the pursuit of happiness bade adieu to his family and climbed on the bullock cart in a hurry accompanied by his father and his elder brother. The cart stopped at an obsolete building .He hastened his steps inside being completely entrenched in the strands of complacency.
His father examined the whole building, made the necessary arrangements, carried out all the procedures and then started to depart. Then suddenly the boy intuited that something went wrong. This was not what he had expected. He stood there incoherent; realizing in what imbroglio he was left behind.
He ran and held his father’s hand and pleaded him to take him with them. His father tried to appease him and averred to take him if he wished after a week or so. They went and he stood their stubborn; beholding them until they were out of sight.
Tears dropped uncontrollably from those innocent eyes. He was greatly perturbed with the diabolic thoughts that he is crammed into that disheveled captive.
During the visit his father had made acquaintance with a worker in the boarding school. He was a man with a jovial smile. He held the boy to come with him but he remained persistent lost in the melancholy strain.
When he entered the hostel at the orifice he met a boy who carried his bags and guided him to his room. There was a long corridor surrounded with room or better cells to be very precise on both side and the cacophony of boys.
He went to his room and faced the boys who were staring him with elevated brows. His morose face had broken the flow of their felicity. He occupied a vacant bed and glanced out of the window being aware of the reason of silence. Then a crackling sound broke the silence. He instantly poked inside his pocket to find the biscuit wrapper. He recalled that he had shared it with his elder brother during the journey. He gazed it for a long time with his lips gravely pursed. The mere thought of it had engendered dejection within his heart which broke out as a whine. The wrapper was preserved as the most precious treasure of the world.
The worker who was circumspect of the ominous situation experienced by the tyro took the boy with him and with a sympathetic fondle offered him the food. The tears had stopped but the pain had evolved by the passage of time.
He felt suffocation in that airy room. The idea to elope stroked him but it was moribund as the destination was beyond the reach of those tiny feet. His mind was always preoccupied with nostalgic proclivity which could be endured no more.
He used to linger outside during the night and sit near a brook spontaneously. The evocative thoughts of what will be going on at home made him emotionally charged. This was the only mode of recreation and escape from that damp place. It may sound incredulous that he was now intrepid enough to take those audacious steps. Maybe that timid heart had transformed into an unwavering one. This was probably the first change.
The intrinsic value of home was well understood by that perceptive mind. To reach back home was his only desire which had become indispensable now. Not a single class was attended by him as he had made his mind to go back home with his luggage packed ,his eyes eagerly waiting for the arrival of his father and his mind convinced to fly back home. That week spent like a millennium.
The advent of his father had exhilarated him. He listed the jeremiads to him with his voice sentimental as never before. His father mollified him and gave him the assurance that he will surely take him back at the festival. The dogged response could not change the decision of his father. He felt repulsed but still imbued with hope. After the departure of his father that fragile figure as per his lexicon went stealthily to the brook with his eyes brimming with tears. He cursed himself for fights with his brother, the tricks that he played with his sisters, the mischief he did and how he pestered his granny. He found himself in a state of oblivion; in a remorseful spirit he went inside the so called prison.
One realizes the importance of something only when he loses it. That’s human nature. We run behind things which are difficult to achieve and in the interim forgets what we have.
His absence always caused impediment in the classroom for the reason that he had never attended any. The teacher asked a student to call him. The boy came running to the terrace with some chocolates and requested me to come with him. In the response he shook his head with defiance.
The dawn broke by the sparkle of sun. The most awaiting morning of his life and he was perturbed by the hindrance of the clouds. His father had arrived with a bullock cart which appeared as a chariot to him. He with his packed luggage was waiting with rain exuberance. He jumped over the cart with the greatest vigor.
The raining drops seemed to rejoice with the welcome song. He breathed the air of life from which he was deprived for the past three weeks. The intense winds and the terrific whether put a stop in the voyage. They got off and hid under a rickety and their legs pressed against the bog.
The return to home was an ecstasy. The home now appeared to him as a sumptuous place. His watery eyes were craving to see his brother, his sisters, his mother and everyone. The each and every moment that he spent with them that week he was penitent for not realizing the tremendous value of every element of his life. The eyes of his granny got wet when she noticed her frolicsome child transformed into a decorous one. Another remarkable change…….
The bliss he experienced was not earthly but it didn’t lasted too long. His bags were packed again. It was the greatest shock which thrilled him internally. He was nearly demented and made each and every possible attempt to convince his father but he didn’t rise to the bait and remained adamant. He thought that his son will learn to cope with the situation.
This incident had deranged him. He secretively walked outside the hostel and came across that rickety. The impressions of the feet were still there. By the mere touch of it he felt the presence of his father around. The old memories made him stroked him as an intense pain deep inside him. The oscillations in his life had made him completely confused. Then a injured spider caught his sight. He lifted him and kept him in his pocket. The mischievous heart had turned susceptible. The most remarkable change……..
The next week his elder brother along with a neighbor came to visit him with Tiffin with them. He begged impecuniously to them to take him away with them. They remained unanswerable. Then his brother made a deceptive promise to take him. When he came outside with his luggage the remains of the wheels were the only thing in sight.
He remained there morbid; alone with his mental torture. He moved inside enervated; gulping in the extreme despondency caused by the intrigue. He opened the Tiffin in low spirit and found lavish sweets embellished with love which was made exclusively for him but that was also preserved like other gifts.
The droning voice of the stooping teacher was echoing in the classroom. But as always his eyes were focused outside the window; engrossed in his plaintive thoughts. The flow was broken by the sound of horn of cycle. He experienced exultation blooming inside him as he had recognized that familiar sound.
The footsteps made them heard in the passage, He ran from the classroom with muzzle velocity to meet him. His father descended his eyes to him and said, “Let’s go from here”. Those words had raised his conviviality to the seventh sky. He then climbed on his flying soccer with immense zest and looked back at the boarding school in blues. H e felt as if he was confined in it from time immemorial.
        This incident had rejuvenated that the little boy. In the midst of night an appalling nightmare provoked him. He upraised and was propitiated by the presence of his brother sleeping beside. He went away. His hands lifted the spider from the clandestine place. The imprints had not worn out yet. He emancipated the only souvenir with deliberate glee……….
-      Preeti Singh


  1.  

Saturday, 21 January 2012


Review

Of Sidhhartha    
                        By Herman Hesse


In this novel Herman Hesse had described the journey of a Brahmin boy in the search of self knowledge. He joined the ascetics and became a Samana .His assumption that this salvation and sacrifice will him to the coveted way he turned to the Samsara. The once slacked muscles transformed into a deborian man and so his lexicon. The comforts of the world dazzled him. Then the self realization engendered a new thirst within him, raised him from the delirium tremens, deviated  him to a new path and then found a river that could quench this thirst.
        River a sign of spontaneity, evocativeness and eternity had the enigma of life hid within it. The ferryman guided him in the impasse situation and helped him recognize the sound of Om, the sound of the soul. He who had never been introduced to the verses enshrined in the holy books still had acquired much more knowledge than Siddhartha.
        Thereafter Siddhartha breaks the barrier of illusion, the maze of meanings, the contradictions of teachings and lastly gains the wisdom hid behind all the acquired knowledge.
        Yes, it’s we who pave the path of our. God dwells in each and every thing of this world. Feel his essence and the art of turning perturbation into satisfaction, atrocity into sacrifice, ego into serenity, and above all knowledge into wisdom…..

                                                                     Preeti Singh