बादल

कभी बादलों को बातें करने सुना हैं तुमने? 

आज बरसना हैं या सिर्फ गरज कर बह जाना हैं 

सूरज को अभी यूँ ही थोड़ा सताना हैं 

मेघदूत बनकर यक्ष का कोई सन्देश पहुँचाना हैं 

आख़िर ये क्या ढूंढते होंगे 

बहती हवाओं से शायद रास्ता पूछते होंगे 

बंज़र ज़मीन ने अक़्सर बुलाया होगा 

उस किसान की बेबसी ने कभी तो रुलाया होगा 

जब छोटी थीं तो लगता था कोई इनके ऊपर रहता होगा 

बिजली गिराकर अपनी बात कहता होगा 

बारिश के लिए बादल में कोई सुइयाँ चुभाता होगा 

कोई तो इनमे रंग मिलाता होगा 

जब आसमां में रंग बदलते हैं 

काले बादल एक दूसरे पर चलते हैं 

सतरंगी धनुष जब निकलता हैं 

बादल पर पाँव रखने को जी करता हैं 

बेवक्त आ जाना इनकी रिवायत हैं 

पर इससे मुझे न कोई शिकायत हैं

क्यूँकि बारिश से ठीक पहले के मौसम 

अपने साथ लाता हैं एक ठहराव का सबब 

नास्टैल्जिया की बहती हवा 

बुनती यादों की कितनी कड़ी हैं  

बारिश की ठंडी पहली बूँद 

जो अभी बस तुम पर पड़ी हैं 

जानती हूँ कुछ नहीं बस भाँप होना बादल की सच्चाई हैं 

पर मेरे लिए अभी भी ये आसमां में बहती रहस्यमयी रजाई हैं 

हर चीज़ में अफ़साने ढूंढ़ने की ये आदत हैं पुरानी 

सो थोड़ा सा बादल, थोड़ा सा पानी... और इक कहानी 

अधूरापन

पुरानी आदत है मेरी 

सब कुछ आधा छोड़ देने की 

अधूरे शौक़, अधूरी ख्वाहिशें 

अधूरी मिन्नतें, अधूरी रंजिशे 

जैसे की वो तस्वीर जो पूरी करनी थीं 

 फिलहाल बस लकीरें हैं 

सफ़ेद कागज़ पर खींची 

अंजान, बेनाम लकीरें

बहुत सी कहानियाँ

जिनकी शुरुआत और अंजाम पढ़ा है 

बीच में लिखा सब कुछ 

मैंने बस कल्पनाओं में गढ़ा है 

तमाम वो कसमें , तमाम अफ़साने 

अधूरापन ज़िन्दगी का तर्ज़ हो गया 

तमाम वो सपने जिन्हें पाना था 

मगर जूनून कुछ खर्च हो गया

वो जो बीता और गुज़रा 

जिसे उसी वक़्त बोलना चाहा 

बिखर कर, टूट कर 

खुद को ही जोड़ना चाहा 

शब्द भी थे, बसीरत भी 

सुना जाने की जरुरत भी 

गर्दिश भी थीं, दस्तूर था 

नज़्म को फिर भी अधूरा छूटना मंज़ूर था 

महसूस होने और बयां कर पाने 

के बीच में होता एक फासला है 

उसे तय करना शायद 

वक़्त ही सिखाता हैं 

बहुत बातें अधूरी छोड़ी हैं मैंने 

इसलिए नहीं की कुछ बोलने को नहीं था 

हर्फ़ आ गये थे ज़बान तक 

शायद कह पाने का हौसला नहीं था 

अभी तक सोचती हूँ कि 

काश बोल दिया होता 

संकोच और लिहाज़ का 

एक धागा खोल दिया होता 

वो अधूरी मुलाक़ात, अधूरी हामी 

जो अलविदा जिसमें कुछ तो था बाक़ी 

सपनों में मैंने जाने से पहले एक बार रोका था 

जाके भूल न जाना, ऐसे कहकर टोका था

न जाने की मैंने सारी वज़ह गिनाई थीं 

नहीं भी जो पूछा, वो सारी बात बताई थीं 

चाहे असलियत में कितने ही अधूरे हैं 

 मेरे ख्यालों में हम हर मायने में पूरे हैं 

Pooja #rolestroll_ 16

तेरी उम्मीद पर ठुकरा रहा हूँ दुनिया को

तुझको भी खुद पर ये ऐतबार हैं की नहीं 

दबा दबा ही सही 

दिल में प्यार हैं की नहीं

Movie - Arth

Pooja is an orphan who is financially and emotionally dependent on her husband who once happened to be his friend. He is surreptitiously in relationship with other woman and leaves Pooja. She vacates the apartment that she had decorated with such exuberance. She finds it ironic that how the other day she told her maid that she should leave her alcoholic husband living with another woman and she herself meets the same fate. She starts living in Working women hostel and struggles to find a job. She is helped and encouraged by Raj,  a budding artist who has adulation for her. At one instance when her husband comes to meet her to get divorce paper signed she deliberately asks her what the date is to remind him its her birthday but he clearly doesn't remember that. It's aching to see that a how people mark a shelf life to every relationship.  Once it's over so is the importance that you once held in their life. She simply smiles and moves on. Throughout the story she evolves from a person who is largely dependent, mushy to becoming a stoic, strong headed and self dependent.  Her husband's mistress suffers from schizophrenia that maybe stems from the realisation of having ruined Pooja's life. Pooja goes to her and assures her that she shouldn't blame herself.  Afterall forgiveness is important not because its about being the bigger person but because of the fact that it is only beneficial for your inner peace. There is no end to hatred and neither can it change the fact that you were wronged. At the end of the day its about how you recover from your setbacks and emerge a little stronger and immune to the treachery of the world. In her case she helps her maid's daughter and decides to bear the onus of the child's education and upbringing. 

Ratna #rolestroll _15

लाइफ ख़त्म नहीं होती हैं सर,  इतना ही कहना था

Movie - Sir

Ratna became a widow at the age of nineteen after being married against her will to a man who was chronically ill, just because they didn't demand any dowry. Back in village it meant an end to woman's life.She chose not to live as a baggage and start afresh. She moved to Bombay to work as an househelp to Ashwin who was an affluent well settled man. Ratna always felt that life is always easier for rich people until she saw her boss who once aspired to be an writer but had to leave everything to  handle family business and recently had his marriage being called off. She happens to be the only person who understood and inspired him. Afterall pain and dejection are inevitable, but misery is always optional.  It depends on us, what we make out of whatever that was wronged. Ratna choses to pursue learning tailoring and become a fashion designer one day. But its not as easy given how classist and biased is the society that we live in. She takes pride in being a servant,  does her work with utmost dignity and sincerity ; sends her savings back to village so that her younger sister complete her education. Ashwin enamoured her for who she was and once tells her that she is very brave while he couldn't be like her. She replies okay to that and rushes to know what the word brave actually meant. Things complicate when along with a mutual respect a sexual tension develope between them. Ashwin even contemplates to marry her but Ratna very politely yet affirmately declines the proposal as she didn't want to become a joke in front of the society. She choses to move out of the apartment with all her dignity and again start from scratch while also motivating Ashwin to choose to follow what he always wanted to do and gather the courage to break free of the social and emotional baggage that he has carried so long.

Joy Newsome #rolestroll_14

"Scared is what you are feeling, brave is what you are doing"

Movie - Room

Abducted at the age of seventeen and held in captive in a cramped garden shed for past seven years, Joy still had a ray of hope left that one day she will see the world with his five year old son Jack. Jack was told that this little room was the entire world and what he sees beyond the skylight is outer space. People they see on tv are unreal and their captor( his father ) who comes every night with food is not real but magic. Until one day when Joy gathered strength to say an end to this pathetic being and repeated rape and tried to tell her son the reality about the world. With her unwavering efforts she succeeds in somehow breaking out but rather than being happy she fells into the abyss of depression only to be revived back by his son.  A boy who till the age of five thought that a small room in which he is confined is the entire world and is finding hard time to come in terms of reality. The whole movie is set through his eyes and perspective,  about how even after breaking out he still misses the room,  that he still thinks most things about the room is still unreal,  that he was more happy when there were just two of them and feels a strange confinement even after getting freed. The story is emotionally sumptuous and left me with tears that have still not stopped ; questions that still lay unanswered ; an ache that lingers so strongly and most importantly a hope that time heals everything.  

Pen Sketches